He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
No matter where you work, the likelihood is that you have to deal with people. Just because I work from home and have my own business does not mean I am exempt from this. I love my job because I don’t have to have parties and I don’t have to cold- call people and I make my own hours and work as little or as much as I choose each day… However, there are still difficult moments because… (sigh)… I do have to deal with people. Most days, these people are highlights of my experience and I have happy conversations to report to Cowboy when he gets home at night. Today was not one of those days as a very angry man decided to vent his life’s heartache in a tirade of cursing and ugliness… directly at me.
And apparently, the first time wasn’t relieving enough… since he called back and left a scathing voicemail. It is puzzling because I only call people who have specifically expressed an interest in learning more about this business and who have given their phone number for that purpose. I had spoken with him several times, taken him completely through the information which is very clear and not in any way secretive or misleading. (I say this because I worked for a company initially who did not operate with such integrity, and which I subsequently left.) He continued to follow the process and take the next step, but waited until I introduced him to my director/trainer on a conference call (a very, very successful and wise man of God) to…completely… and totally… LOSE IT.
The words he used like rapid fire are still burning in my ears and I just keep thinking how sad it all is… that someone who needs a job, who has an engineering degree but hasn’t worked in 5 years, who lives off of unemployment and cannot get hired in all the places he has tried… refuses to try something different that could change his life forever… all because he is too proud, too angry, and obviously… too wounded.
My director said to me afterwards, “Corrie, hurt people hurt people.” I cried and cried for him (because my skin is, as always, too thin) but mostly because he told me his story and the depth of his need, but wouldn’t let me help him. In trying to find the gratitude “in all circumstances,” and in talking to the Lord about it, I came to this conclusion…
He is a lonely, hurting, wounded man. He kept taking the next step because he needed the interaction and the encouragement and the hope- but once he reached the last step and was faced with making a decision to start his own business… He just couldn’t take the risk of failing AGAIN. I pray for him- and hope he did find encouragement from me somehow. Maybe something I said will drive him to look UP where the only TRUE HELP comes from.
It is hard not to take these things personally, but I talk to so many people who are a delight and bring such joy and encouragement to me. Today I am thankful for the reminder that…
69. There are hurting people out there who need grace, encouragement, and hope… and I have all those because of You. Thank you for the chance I have to talk to them, and please use it for Your glory… even when it hurts my heart.
70. TrueHeart’s first tumbling class with a new teacher and her favorite friend, and TenderHeart’s first karate class ever, which is also with his favorite friend. Thankful for Lori Ann who took TrueHeart so I could take TenderHeart, and also for my Mama who kept SweetHeart from the long ride and all the waiting (and had her bathed and ready for bed when I came to pick her up!) All the little acts of kindness really.do.matter.
71. The people on my “team” at work who have spoken such blessing into my life this week. Thank You for bringing them into my life, and for how they honor You with theirs.
72. For my Mama who took TrueHeart to the orthodontist to fix a sharp wire and brought (bought) pretty much everything in the “gluten-free” section at WalMart yesterday for TenderHeart. She came in with bags and bags of encouragement for the soul who just.wants.a.sandwich.
73. The emotional parenting crisis I had yesterday, the phone call which brought it into perspective, and the peaceful resolution which followed.
74. The decision last night, from total exhaustion, to just lay down (lie? I can never remember) with Cowboy, SweetHeart, and BraveHeart and let us all fall gently asleep together. There was no wrestling, no crying… just snuggles and peaceful sleep. SweetHeart reached over and rubbed my arm and I whispered, “I love you.” She nodded her head, smiling sweetly around the thumb in her mouth, the perfect end.of.day.